Alcohol quotes and Sayings – Famous Alcohol quotes Funny

Alcohol quotes and Sayings – Famous Alcohol quotes Funny – Quotations about Alcohol, and Drinking Toasts

A few drams make a drunkard, a few drunkards make a dram-shop, and many dram-shops damn a nation. James Lendall Basford (1845–1915)

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat — in other words, turn you into an adult. P.J. O’Rourke

Vodka is just awesome water. Author Unknown

One is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. James Thurber, 1960

Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. Knute Rockne

The first glass is a sedative, the second a psychologist, the third glass an excuse, and the fourth a lobotomy. Terri Guillemets

Never cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been whiskey. “Pappy” Maverick, in Maverick

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. Seneca

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation. Kin Hubbard

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 1

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires

Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets. From the movie Arthur

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 2

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. Author unknown

Sobriety is either the love of health, or an incapacity for debauch. François VI de la Rochefoucault (1613–1680)

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 3

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? Author Unknown

In truth, the danger of drink, to Americans, is more hazardous than to any other people. We have an intensity of “nerves” beyond that of any other nation that has ever existed. Elbert Hubbard, “Can You Afford It?”, Cosmopolitan, May 1913

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 4

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy, I’ve done it a thousand times. W.C. Fields

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 5

Health — what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. Phyllis Diller

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 6

I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. George Bernard Shaw

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 7

Life’s a waste of time, time’s a waste of life so let’s all get wasted and have the time of our life. Author unknown

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 8
A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. W.C. Fields

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more. H.L. Mencken

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 9

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink. Mark Twain, 1898

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 10

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before. From the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, 1961, screenplay by George Axelrod, based on the novella by Truman Capote, spoken by the character Paul Varjak

I’m going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver. Phil Harris

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 11

Teetotalers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. W.H. Davies

Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. Ambrose Bierce

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 12

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? Jack Handey

The drunk mind speaks the sober heart. Author Unknown

Alcohol quotes and Sayings 13

I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk. We go to parties. Author Unknown

If food hath slain its thousands, then drink has slain its tens of thousands. William Kitchiner, Directions for Invigorating and Prolonging Life, 1831

Alcohol quotes and Sayings

Irish queer: a fellow who prefers women to drink. Seán Ó Faoláin

Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila. Author Unknown

Alcohol Quotes

I don’t get drunk — I get awesome. Author Unknown

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. Rita E. Torres

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. Don Marquis

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. Robert Heinlein

A bottle in front of me is like a frontal lobotomy. Attributed to Dorothy Parker

I’d prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. Attributed to Frank Nicholson

Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini? Robert Benchley

Age and wedlock bring a man to his nightcap. William Camden’s Remaines, c.1605

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either. P.J. O’Rourke

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